Many thanks to Tom for this amazing and inspirational guest post! Go Tom! – Jonathan Bailor
“I was picking up my daughter from “kids-zone” after work last week. The kids like to watch for parents, and then announce who is coming, sort of an end-of-the-day game. As I was approaching, one boy poked his head out the door, caught a glimpse of me, and as the door was closing, I heard him yell out, “HERE COMES BIG DADDY!”
Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, because I am a fat-cutter, and therefore, I am here on a journey to lose weight, those words hurt. And in the beginning of 2012, when I started this journey, when I weighed 271 pounds, they definitely would have been painful to hear.
But the truth was, on this particular day last week, I had just finished an awesome full body weight lifting workout, I was feeling strong, I had consumed a delicious whole-foods veggie and whey protein smoothie, I was wearing my cool Oakley shades, and you know that feeling after a workout, after a healthy meal, where you are all pumped up, and there’s a sway in your walk, and you feel like a master of the universe? Well, that’s what I felt like on that particular day. I felt strong, I felt light, and I felt kind of awesome.
So, an epiphany. that kid wasn’t insulting me. He wasn’t saying I was “Big Daddy”, the 271 pound fat guy…He was saying, here comes “Big Daddy”, The Boss, The Bomb, The Man! Because, that’s what I felt like, at that particular moment, and kids are perceptive, and he obviously picked the vibe up. and ran with it. And, I LOVED hearing him say that, out loud, to the world.
The thing is…Words, are so very powerful. For me, the word “BIG” used to have a hold on me, but I guess it really doesn’t anymore. I have sort of changed.
But don’t get me wrong. Every time I look in the mirror, I see all faults and imperfections, and I think I probably always will. No matter how much fat I lose, no matter how much muscle I gain, or healthier I feel, there will always be that 271 pound obese guy, staring back at me in the mirror. He’s in there, and probably always will be. He is a part of my history, and my psyche, and he is someone I will always need to confront and talk to, from time to time.
But on this day last week, walking into the kids zone after an awesome workout, feeling like “The Man”…, well, not so much.
And I think this is my real success story, up until this point of the journey. You see, I have a ways to go, before I feel like I am at a place of pure health and fitness bliss. My journey is far from over, I never will be a perfect man. But, I don’t think I see myself as obese, anymore. I don’t see myself as “Big” anymore, not in the fat sense. I suppose now, I relate the word “Big”, to personal strength, power and intention, and improved self-control.
A moment of narcissism: I dug up this photo of “Big Daddy” on vacation, in the summer of 2011.
And here is a self-photo I just took, of “Big Daddy”, July 7th, 2013. Prior weight, 271. Current weight, 206.”